EQUINOX
by cullenister
Summary: When the Cullens and Edward leaves Forks and Bella behind, it was almost too much for her to cope, until she finds a way to express her emotions and with Jacob staying by her side she learns to live a live she wouldn't have imagined of. Rated M for lemons
1. PREFACE

_That war, or peace, or both at once, may be As things acquainted and familiar to us_

_-Shak._

**PREFACE**

I'd never thought of the day i would be standing on a centre stage.

Being who I am today, it was the last thing I'd thought would've become.

The old Bella would have never wanted to be in the centre of limelight.

But now it was the only solution for the suppressed emotions overflowing through me.

Through those years I thought I have gradually become numb with everything in the past.

And yet at this moment I see your face, your dark eyes despite the hundreds and thousands of unfamiliar faces around you, my heart that

was shattered glass felt mended back into place.


	2. A CHANCE ENCOUNTER

**1. ****A CHANCE ENCOUNTER**

_That day _has still been constantly replaying in my dreams, haunting me every night, the only time I could seek solitude.

Every night I relive the moment Edward walking away from me, leaving me alone in the dark woods, _broken_, soaked in rain, until Sam and everyone came looking for me.

Months after that I still woke up screaming at the dead of the night. Charlie was probably so used to it, seeing that he doesn't come in to check on me anymore but I could tell he often

stole glances at me when he thought I wasn't looking.

I knew it hurt him a lot to see me moping around for months.

I tried so hard to put a smile on my face, acting like nothing happened, but the fact was I just couldn't bring myself to do anything a normal high school teenager would do.

I went to school, Jessica and the rest of the gang would've ignored me, knowing that I was unresponsive.

Jake has been there for me when I needed a shoulder to lean on. He came by after school everyday and did homework with me.

Eventually I started driving down to La Push on the weekends and watch him build his truck.

He was the only one that managed to make me smile genuinely.

The months have been tough but I soon sought a way of making my days more... constructive.

Composing.

Originally, I would've moved on to journalism in college, but I wasn't emotionally ready for it.

Realising that song writing helped with my inexpressible... inner emotions, opened me up more.

Seeing the changes in me, Charlie and Renee had allowed me to take a gap year before returning to college the following year.

So those following months I wrote day and night, sometimes struggling to find the right words to make the perfect compositions,

until i fall asleep and re-enter those nightmares and the daily routine just repeated itself almost too often.

An unlikely encounter changed my life. Alexis Turner, a renowned song writer and musician and a graduate from Forks High School walked down the school halls,

pass the music room and heard me failing miserably playing attempts of my songs on the piano.

He liked my music and signed me in his newly established music agency.

************************************************************

It had been a year since I graduated from school, leaving Forks and Charlie behind.

Although things are much the same, they're very different in many levels.

I'm still the old, clumsy Bella that manages to trip over flat surfaces.

But the new Bella is the up and coming artist with glamorous style and a talented song writer.

And Jake? He managed to convince Billy to let him move to New York with me to work as my bodyguard.

_How fitting_.

Gosh. I can be so sarcastic sometimes.

Freyja had just finished dressing me after polishing every possible surface of my body, the thick mascara and glitter has been throbbing my eyes I can't even open them.

Now forcing me to step in those killer traps, damn Christian Louboutins.

The scene was all but too familiar, Alice dressing me. Alice doing my makeup. Alice doing my hair.

I missed her.

I swiftly looked into the mirror before getting dragged out to the changing room.

"Argh. It's so..._blue_." I grimaced as I struggled walking down the hall in the heels.

It was the same blue I wore to the Prom I went with _him_. The same blue that I haven't worn since _That Day_.

It was a flowing silk chiffon blue Lanvin dress. (Picture of dress on profile)

Dark blue sapphires were embellished in my hair with parts of it pinned up in a loose bun and parts let down in soft waves that flows down my upper torso.

"What's wrong with _blue_? It's looks excellent on you Miss Bella, totally complements your Albino traits you know? Damn girl... no one in New York is even half as pale as you." Freyja said

with her perfectly posh English accent.

"Freyja, It's _blue_. I _never_ wear _blue_, I thought I told you. And by the way _you_ are as pale as me.."

Freyja was born and raised in London, She had a tall and slender body, her skin was of a perfect porcelain shade, her eyes were of a strange shade of burgundy and framed thick lashes. A perfect English Rose.

Remembering the first time I met her, I had thought she was a model but later found out she was my personal assistant and stylist.

"Well too bad Miss Bella, Jake specifically said he wanted to see you in blue." My persistence was starting to get to Freyja, who's perfect brows were fixed into a frown.

She even looked beautiful when she frowns.

"Since when did _Jacob_ have the right to have an input on my concert's attire." I murmured. Jacob. That stupid steroid eating boy.

"Don't be difficult, Bella. If you don't shut up now, I swear to god I will strip you down and you can walk on that damn stage naked." her eyes narrowed.

Oh Alice and Freyja remind me of each other ever so frequently.

"Hey Bella it's me. Are you done dressing? Can I come in?" He knocked on the door.

"Yeah come in. I'm all done." I'm going to grill him. On a boiling hot pan.

"Looking good Bells." he examined with a cheeky satisfied grin.

I gave him the dirtiest look as possible. "What the hell Jacob Black? Blue? You _know_ I hate blue."

"You do _not_ hate it. It's about time you got over it anyway. Grow up and move on Bella." He injected with a grin and gave me a light peck on my cheeks, walking away.

"JACOB BLACK DO NOT TOUCH BELLA'S FACE OR I'LL STAB YOU WITH MY NAILS." Freyja screeched.

"Ok whatever Frey. Anyway, are you done with Bella, Alexis said the show's already running ten minutes late so you better hurry up..."

*********************************************************************************************


	3. REMINISCENCE

**Song List To This Chapter- All links posted on Profile Page.**

**PARAMORE- DECODE (ACOUSTIC VERSION)**

**A FINE FRENZY- ALMOST LOVER**

**LEONA LEWIS- BLEEDING LOVE**

Sorry haha I know i'm not too creative with the song list it's probably very common in heaps of fanfics.

but yeah i really like these songs. oh and SORRY if this chapter is not too fun since it contains mostly lyrics.. the following chapters will have more of a story line. after all it's just a reminiscence huh? =)

Ok here goes.

**2. ****REMINISCENCE**

I was slowly rising up from a platform in the center of the stage.

The background was encrusted with thick curtains of crystals and over the head was a large Swarovski chandelier with flowing crystals waterfall.

The whole setting resembled a dark night with stars shining bright in the sky.

Nights like those where I lie on our meadow staring up and wondering if we were looking at the same sky.

Everything was so perfect, so magical, almost mocking my reality.

Each song that would be performed represents different chapters of my heartbreak journey.

The opening song of the concert.

Decode.

The first chapter of my story. A reminiscence really.

One of the very first songs I have ever written. About _him_. About _Us_.

_Us_ ,stumbling upon each other. Figuring out what _he_ truly was.

Breaking down _his_ protective wall.

_"How can I decide what's right,_

_when you're clouding up my mind?_

_I can't win your losing fight_

_all the time"_

_"Nor could I ever own what's mine,_

_when you're always taking sides._

_But you won't take away my pride._

_No, not this time._

_Not this time."_

_"How did we get here?_

_Well I used to know you so well_

_But, how did we get here?_

_Well, I think I know"_

_"The truth is hiding in your eyes,_

_and it's hanging on your tongue._

_Just boiling in my blood._

_But you think that I can't see_

_what kind of man that you are;_

_if you're a man at all._

_Well, I will figure this one out_

_on my own."_

_"How did we get here?_

_when I used to know you so well_

_How did we get here?_

_Well, I think I know"_

_"Do you see what we've done?_

_We've gone and made such fools_

_of ourselves._

_Do you see what we've done?_

_We've gone and made such fools_

_of ourselves."_

_"How did we get here?_

_when I used to know you so well_

_Well, how did we get here?_

_when I used to know you so well. yeah_

_I think I know..."_

_"There is something I see in you,_

_it might kill me._

_I want it to be true."_

There, I laid out the first chapter of my story.

Relief spread through me. One down. Several more to go. Yay.

"Ok guys this little number is called Almost Lover, It's hasn't been released in any of my albums yet.

So... Enjoy!"

_"Your fingertips across my skin_

_  
The palm trees swaying in the wind_

_  
Images"_

Remembering _his_ stone cold fingers lingering on my shoulders, my waist, almost not wanting to loose contact.

Well, I never intended to let go of _him_. How I missed those touches so very often.

_"You sang me Spanish lullabies_

_  
The sweetest sadness in your eyes_

_  
Clever trick"_

At the end of your liquid topaz eyes always had a tinge of sadness in it.

Your every move, every smile, every touch manages to send electric currents through my body.

I've always wanted to tell you that everything was ok. Everything was perfect.

If you had given me more, it would have eventually just throw our relationship out of balance.

But you never listened.

Thus.

My heart break.

_"I never want to see you unhappy_

_  
I thought you'd want the same for me"_

I pressed my hand tightly to my chest. Trying to keep my heart in place.

After feeling more secure, I closed my eyes.

_"Goodbye, my almost lover_

_  
Goodbye, my hopeless dream_

_  
I'm trying not to think about you_

_  
Can't you just let me be?_

_  
So long, my luckless romance_

_  
My back is turned on you_

_  
I should've known you'd bring me heartache_

_  
Almost lovers always do"_

_"We walked along a crowded street_

_  
You took my hand and danced with me_

_  
Images"_

_"And when you left you kissed my lips_

_  
You told me you'd never ever forget these images, no_

_I never want to see you unhappy_

_  
I thought you'd want the same for me"_

_"Goodbye, my almost lover_

_  
Goodbye, my hopeless dream_

_  
I'm trying not to think about you_

_  
Can't you just let me be?_

_  
So long, my luckless romance_

_  
My back is turned on you_

_  
I should've known you'd bring me heartache_

_  
Almost lovers always do_

_I cannot go to the ocean_

_  
I cannot drive the streets at night_

_  
I cannot wake up in the morning_

_  
Without you on my mind_

_  
So you're gone and I'm haunted_

_  
And I bet you are just fine_

_  
Did I make it that easy_

_  
To walk right in and out of my life?"_

Those nights that I snuggled up closely to _his_ stone chest feeling safe and secure.

The next thing I know I wake up screaming and soaked in sweat in the middle of the night.

Oh and. Yes of course it would alright to right in and out of _my_ life.

The things _he_ put me through. _He_ thought it would've made my life easier?

Even till this day I still find it hard to say _his_ name.

_"Goodbye, my almost lover_

_  
Goodbye, my hopeless dream_

_  
I'm trying not to think about you_

_  
Can't you just let me be?_

_  
So long, my luckless romance_

_  
My back is turned on you_

_  
I should've known you'd bring me heartache_

_  
Almost lovers always do"_

I gave my audience a brilliant smile and bowed. Applause filled the stadium.

"Hey New York! Hope your enjoying my show!". The crowd cheered.

"COZ WE'RE JUST GETTING STARTED!" I said enthusiastically.

Sometime I really wonder how I'm capable of putting on this happy face after singing these depressing songs.

I took a deep breath, trying to push everything unnecessary out of my mind.

"And this one... What can I say. It's been played on the radio a trillion times. You know you can guess it.

Yes Yes Yes... Bleeding Love!" The crowd chanted on.

_"Closed off from love_

_  
I didn't need the pain_

_  
Once or twice was enough_

_  
And it was all in vain_

_  
Time starts to pass_

_  
Before you know it you're frozen "_

The painful months that went by leaving me more and more insensitive each day.

The days that passed by with me walking around like a zombie, not realising what I was doing.

When I was on Auto-Pilot mode. So many months before Jacob saved me from myself.

_"But something happened_

_  
For the very first time with you_

_  
My heart melts into the ground_

_  
Found something true_

_  
And everyone's looking round_

_  
Thinking I'm going crazy_

_But I don't care what they say_

_  
I'm in love with you_

_  
They try to pull me away_

_  
But they don't know the truth_

_  
My heart's crippled by the vein_

_  
That I keep on closing_

_  
You cut me open and I_

_Keep bleeding_

_  
Keep, keep bleeding love_

_  
I keep bleeding_

_  
I keep, keep bleeding love_

_  
Keep bleeding_

_  
Keep, keep bleeding love_

_  
You cut me open"_

With piercing eyes I scanned through the crowed, trying to drown every word through everyone.

The audience were sitting in their seats silently, mesmerize, burning red face.

They were just as flaming up in side as me. My words got to them.

_"Trying hard not to hear_

_  
But they talk so loud_

_  
Their piercing sounds fill my ears_

_  
Try to fill me with doubt_

_  
Yet I know that the goal_

_  
Is to keep me from falling_

_But nothing's greater_

_  
Than the rush that comes with your embrace_

_  
And in this world of loneliness_

_  
I see your face_

_  
Yet everyone around me_

_  
Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe_

_But I don't care what they say_

_  
I'm in love with you_

_  
They try to pull me away_

_  
But they don't know the truth_

_  
My heart's crippled by the vein_

_  
That I keep on closing_

_  
You cut me open and I" _

Crossing my arm across my chest I sang on.

Each word stronger and stronger to the point where the blood flowing through me felt like burning lava.

_  
Keep, keep bleeding love_

_  
I keep bleeding_

_  
I keep, keep bleeding love_

_  
Keep bleeding_

_  
Keep, keep bleeding love_

_  
You cut me open_

_And it's draining all of me_

_  
Oh they find it hard to believe_

_  
I'll be wearing these scars_

_  
For everyone to see_

_I don't care what they say_

_  
I'm in love with you_

_  
They try to pull me away_

_  
But they don't know the truth_

_  
My heart's crippled by the vein_

_  
That I keep on closing_

_  
You cut me open and I_

_Keep bleeding_

_  
Keep, keep bleeding love_

_  
I keep bleeding_

_  
I keep, keep bleeding love_

_  
Keep bleeding_

_  
Keep, keep bleeding love_

_  
You cut me open and I_

_Keep bleeding_

_  
Keep, keep bleeding love_

_  
I keep bleeding_

_  
I keep, keep bleeding love_

_  
Keep bleeding_

_  
Keep, keep bleeding love_

_  
You cut me open and I_

_  
Keep bleeding_

_  
Keep, keep bleeding love"_

I felt hot tears trying to escape pass the corner of my eyes.

Nevertheless. I won't cry, I've long run out of tears.

It seems like every time I sing, I still feel the huge emotions slamming right into my body.

All those memories rushing back at me all over again. It's almost like I make myself relive them as if the nightmares every night isn't enough already.

"OK GUYS BE BACK IN A SEC. I'M GOING TO CHANGE NOW NOW NOW"

Applause. Of course.

It was a relief that a few songs has been finished. But something wasn't quite right.

I hurried past the hall way and the stage staff and Jacob meeting me halfway with a concerned look.

He opened the waiting room door for me, and I walked in without a word.

"What's wrong Bells, you look so pale and worn-out." He lightly touched my forehead.

I cringed at his ice cold touch, which was unusual, Jacob was always warm.

"Hey Jake could you turn the air con on? It's boiling in here." I frowned.

"What are you talking about Bella , the air con _is_ on. It's Freezing in here." He raised his brows in confusion.

The air filled with a sickly sweet scent that brought chills down to my spine.

But I was burning up regardless.

********************************************************************************************


	4. FORBIDDEN FRUIT

**Song List To This Chapter- All links posted on Profile Page.**

**KATY PERRY- THINKING OF YOU**

**LEONA LEWIS- RUN**

**3. ****FORBIDDEN FRUIT**

"_Bella... Bella?_" My head suddenly shot up to Freyja's light nudge.

I hadn't' keep track of the time that I zoned out, but it must have been at least a few minutes before I replied her.

She was standing in front of me, holding a white garment bag. "Err. I'm sorry Frey. You were saying?" I snapped back to reality.

"Isabella Marie Swan. I will say this one more time and not again. I said I finished your makeup and you are allowed to go change now,

you have five minutes until the next song. Now hurry." So Alice. They will be best friends _if_ they meet. I swear on it.

Freyja held out the dress for me to take. It was a pale pink dress embellished with crystals at the waistline by Naeem Khan. (Picture of dress on profile).

I walked in the dressing room quietly and slid on the dress. The woman in front of me was pale. Almost as pale as _them_.

The light colored dress that closely hung on her fully harmonized with her porcelain skin, even if she looked a bit washed out,

the golden shimmer eye shadow on her lids almost made her look angelic, but a small part of her resembled a corpse bride.

The beautiful creature in front of me left out a weak sigh. _I_ was beautiful.

"Bells, Can you get out of here already? The audience is getting a little impatience." Jacob hushed. I took a last look at myself and opened the door,

"You look beautiful. You always do." his eyes bored into mine and with that he kissed the corner of my mouth and had his hands tightly gripped around my waist,

standing there with the biggest grin. I tried wiggling out of his grip but unfortunately, no luck with this fast growing boy. _Man_. His grip only became tighter.

And I only wanted to smack the grin off his face. "Jacob, Now is not a good time for this. I'm not ready. I told you I only like you as a friend." I protested,

trying to say that attacked his weaknesses so he would let go of me. Except my words did not discourage him, his smile faded a little but quickly resumed to its cheeky grin.

"Hey Bella I'm only contributing a little to your makeup you know, Freyja forgot to put blush on you, you look literally deadly." He winked to me and poked his tongue out at Freyja playfully.

Freyja rolled her eyes dramatically.

"Oh my god get a room you two. I feel like such a light bulb around you guys." We laughed briefly and walked down the hall to the stage.

I once again stepped onto the rising platform. The stage has transformed drastically from fifteen minutes ago.

The crystals and chandelier were still hanging from the top, but an image of a forest was now projected onto the curtains of crystals.

The very same forest that we walked through to get to the meadow. Courtesy of Jacob, since I didn't have the courage to step through those thick woods again yet.

Near the rising platform, a fake apple tree was placed along a swing secured on a branch. I slowly walked towards the swing as the music came on.

"This is Thinking Of You" and I sat on the swing.

Try to compress those sweetest memories we had to together. Sadly bits and pieces of it still leeks out and a little smile is played on my face.

_"Comparisons are easily done_

_Once you've had a taste of perfection_

_Like an apple hanging from a tree_

_I picked the ripest one, I still got the seed" _I sang with a mocking smile.

The ripest one.

The _apple_ to my eye.

The _apple_ that was more that a hundred years old.

The _apple_ that was _preserved_ with venom.

_"You said move on, where do I go?_

_I guess second best is all I will know_

_'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you_

_(Thinking of you, thinking of you)_

_Thinking of you, what you would do_

_If you were the one who was spending the night_

_(Spending the night, spending the night)_

_Oh, I wish that I was looking into your eyes"_

_My_ Jacob. The one and only that was by my side when I went through those miserable days.

The contrast was big. Jacob was the _warm_ one, the one that hovers around me, the one that tries to cross boundaries that I have set between us.

And him, he was a cold marble statue, protecting me, the one that allowed me to experience first love. The one that never cross boundaries.

The one that had set up an invisible wall between us.

_"You're like an Indian summer in the middle of winter_

_Like a hard candy with a surprise center_

_How do I get better once I've had the best?_

_You said there's tons of fish in the water, so the waters I will test_

_He kissed my lips, I taste your mouth, oh!_

_(Taste your mouth)_

_He pulled me in, I was disgusted with myself"_

And when I'm in Jacob's arms seeking comfort, all I could think about was _him_. _And his golden eyes._

I knew it was wrong to do this to Jacob but yet I couldn't let go, we fitted like a puzzle, a part of me was Jacob.

_"'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you_

_(Thinking of you, thinking of you)_

_Thinking of you, what you would do_

_If you were the one who was spending the night_

_(Spending the night, spending the night)_

_Oh, I wish that I was looking into_

_You're the best, and yes, I do regret_

_How I could let myself let you go_

_Now, now the lesson's learned_

_I touched it, I was burned_

_Oh, I think you should know!"_

_Maybe_ I should've held on to you and never let you go.

_Maybe_ I should've gone as far as death-gripping onto you legs and let you drag me as you walk.

_Maybe_ if I did that i wouldn't have had to go through those months.

_'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you_

_(Thinking of you, thinking of you)_

_Thinking of you, what you would do_

_If you were the one who was spending the night_

_(Spending the night, spending the night)_

_Oh, I wish that I was looking into your, your eyes_

_Looking into your eyes, looking into your eyes_

_Oh, won't you walk through?_

_And bust in the door and take me away?_

_Oh, no more mistakes_

_'Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay, stay"_

No, he didn't stay. Ironically he left.

Telling me he didn't love me anymore. And that I was no good to him.

_Bastard_.

I got up from the swing and picked up a fallen apple from the ground, along with a basket filled with wooden apples that had my autographs

on them and walked towards the edge of the stage where I could get closer to the audience.

And then something caught my eye.

At first sight, there was something that evoked someone that I briefly knew.

Someone from the _past_. The part that haunted me. A sense of anger came with it.

Someone that had same shade of burning red hair.

The same shade of piercing crimson eyes.

I slowly walked over to her, my fear was probably evident but I tried to hide it.

I handed her a wooded apple.

A wicked grin played across her face as she accepted the gift and gently pulled me down.

"I'm watching you." she smiled as her ice cold breath sinks into my ears, sending chills throughout my body.

I glided through the front row audiences, trying too hard not to trip, handing them each a souvenir and marched back down the long runway

as the next song seeks it's way through the speakers.

_Run_

How fitting.

Another chapter of my life.

Where I chose to accept reality.

_"__I'll sing it one last time for you  
Then we really have to go  
You've been the only thing that's right  
In all I've done"_

There wasn't a day that I regretted falling in love with him.

Although I'm learning to accept that he has gone, I still don't accept the fact that he could be so cold hearted.

_It would've been as if I never existed_ he said. Taking all the proof of his existence.

Was it so wrong of me to keep a cd he made for me? Was it so wrong that I kept the photos that I'd taken with him?

_  
"And I can barely look at you_

_  
But every single time I do_

_  
I know we'll make it anywhere_

_  
Away from here"_

_"Light up, light up_

_  
As if you have a choice_

_  
Even if you cannot hear my voice_

_  
I'll be right beside you dear"_

Much to my dismay. I knew that, deep inside of me, that if he came back I would've completely forgiven him.

I would go where ever he went if he had allowed me to. Even _death_.

_  
"Louder louder_

_  
And we'll run for our lives_

_  
I can hardly speak I understand_

_  
Why you can't raise your voice to say_

_"To think I might not see those eyes_

_  
Makes it so hard not to cry_

_  
And as we say our long goodbye_

_  
I nearly do"_

_  
"Light up, light up_

_  
As if you have a choice_

_  
Even if you cannot hear my voice_

_  
I'll be right beside you dear_

_Louder louder_

_  
And we'll run for our lives_

_  
I can hardly speak I understand_

_  
Why you can't raise your voice to say_

_Light up, light up_

_  
As if you have a choice_

_  
Even if you cannot hear my voice_

_  
I'll be right beside you dear"_

I tried to be brave and stole a glance at where the one from the past sat.

But she was _gone_.

********************************************************************************************


	5. OBSOLETE

**4. ****OBSOLETE**

Nauseous crept all through me.

A burning sensation was emerging in my chest and wrist, where James had previously bit me two and a half years ago.

The heat had made my breathing fast and shallow. The concert has come to its end.

"Thank you, Thank you so much. Thank you so much for supporting my music. You are my life now! Goodnight!" I yelled to the audience at the top of my lungs.

* * *

************************************************************

* * *

Freyja placed a beautiful rose bouquet (that was a size of a community bin LOL) on the makeup table as I walked into the change room.

"I just stumbled across a dashing young man and he sent his regards to you. And these gorgeous roses." She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively,

handing me a note:

_Isabella_

_Hope you like these. It took me a while to choose them._

_By the way they're not as nearly as beautiful as you._

_Hope to see you soon in Spoons._

_Love from Isaac_

"Spoons?" I mused.

"So...Who is this gorgeous man?" She asked.

"Just some old school friend's brother that I just met recently." I said casually.

"Yeah right. You expect me to believe that a charming man "that you don't really know" just sent you _these_ and that note." She said playfully.

"Yeah. He's charming." But not nearly as charming as.. _him_. I frowned at that thought.

"Uh-huh." She wasn't going to let this go easily.

"Uh-huh." I mocked her sentence.

"What? I think he is gorgeous piece of man meat." She gave me a nudge in the arm. Which I returned with rolling my eyes dramatically.

"Yeah. So unlike his brother though. Mike was a total horror, I mean, he was nice and all but following me around at school? That's just too much." I sighed.

"What are you talking about." Jacob suddenly appeared at the doorway.

"Some hot stud." She replied.

"Shush Freyja Rosalie Cunningham!" I shot her a glare.

"Huh?" He said.

"Oh nothing much. I was just saying how Miss Bella here is going to be fairly occupied during her stay in _Spoons_ this thanksgiving." She said matter-of-factly.

"Frey. Just get to the point. I'm a little impatient right here. I just heard something like charming and gorgeous man meat.

I suppose you were talking about me?" Jacob crossed his arms, looking amused with himself.

"Well, Miss Bella. _He_ still remembers your meeting in Forks. Apparently there was a _brief encounter _in the hallway." Freyja said with a smirk,

ignoring Jacob and turning her attention back to me.

"Who is this _he_? And what _brief encounter_." Jacob narrowed his eyes on Freyja.

"Isaac Newton." She said. I smiled at that name.

"Er. Isaac Newton? Hasn't he been dead for like.. years..?" He looked beyond confused.

"No... Isaac Newton is...like Mike Newton's older brother." I chuckled.

"Oh my god, why would any parent in the right mind name their son _that_?" He said defensively.

"I happen to like the name Isaac _A LOT_." My grin was becoming impossibly wide.

"I don't. It sounds so Zacky." He frowned.

"Whatever." I smiled and started walking out of the room.

But a strong arm pinned me to the wall next to the door, with the other arm holding on to the small of my back. Freyja turned around and coughed.

"Ok, Ok. I get the idea. No PDA in front of me please." She put up her arms and walked out of the room, closing the door leaving us behind.

"Bella, what happened in Forks with this _Isaac Newton_." He sneered at the sound of that name.

"Jacob Black. Let go, You're hurting me!" I tried struggling out of his grip.

No response.

"WHAT IS WITH YOU AND PINNING ME TO THE WALL?" I screamed.

"Nothing." He growled. His face red of anger, only inches from mine. But I refused to look at him.

"I love you." He whispered in a low voice for what must have been minutes later.

I looked down suddenly finding the rubbish on the floor very interesting.

A sad smile played at the corner of his mouth and he let go of me.

Leaving red marks on my wrists.

With that I stalked out of the building and sped home in the Porsche.

Home was. Empty. Four walls around me. The fact was I never spent much time here.

There were the basics like bed, sofa, TV and things like that.

But something was just missing.

And I knew exactly what.

As much as I hate to admit it but I miss Jacobs presence.

Due to my lack of appetite this morning, I sang at my concert on an empty stomach, and it was now grumbling loudly.

In the fridge there was a plate of steak I cooked last night but didn't end up eating so I re-heated it in the microwave and

placed the plate on the dining table and started digged in.

_Flash:_

_A man was butchering a bloody animal. The cow was tied on its feet from the ceiling. With its neck slit, blood spilling everywhere. _

_The scene was gruesome._

The fork and knife dropped to the ground and I instantly choked on the piece of steak.

I fell off the chair and onto the ground. The coughing lasted for about ten minutes until I threw up.

Tears were gathering in my eyes and I imagined I looked hideous. But I don't give a crap right now. I just sat there and cried.

The key slide in from the front door. Great.

Jacob was back. I really did not need him to see me like this.

"Bella? Bella? Are you okay What happened?" Jacob ran over to me and rubbed my back.

"Yes I'm fine. Go away." I managed to choked out and pushed his hand away. Attempting to get up but tripped on the flat surface anyway.

I laid on the floor until Jacob finished cleaning the mess l left behind.

He picked me up and carried me to the bathroom. Putting me down on the bathroom counter, he gently wiped my face with a soft towel without a word.

"Say something." I felt so disgusted with myself I started sobbing.

"I don't have anything to say." He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear before continuing to wipe down my face.

"Well that doesn't sound like you, you never shut up." I argued, hoping he would not keep up the silence. It was excruciating.

"Why are you doing this Bella." He sneered.

"Because He doesn't want me." I said stubbornly. Tears streamed down my face.

"Fuck. Bella! Forget about that fucking leech! He's not coming back!" He held onto both sides of my face,

making me look directly in his dark eyes. He pulled my face in and kissed me roughly and I was too weak to push him away,

i just let him do whatever he wanted. He continued to assault my lips, earning a moan from me. I yearned for physical contact.

Taking that as an encouragement he lifted me off the counter and we both fell onto my soft mattress.

I gave in and let my fingers dig into his jet black hair. Tears were still pouring down my face.

I allowed Jake to unzip my hoodie and I slid off his t-shirt. His fingers roaming all over my body.

"God Bella. I never thought you'd let me do this." He sighed, fingers caressing my right breast.

Another moan escaped from my god forbidden mouth. My legs buckled onto his waist, hoping to create some kind of friction.

His kisses was longing and passionate, never giving me more than a few seconds to gasp for air.

His fingers roamed further down south, stroking my belly button, and then my stomach and stopped at the waistband of my shorts,

stroking above it. My backed was bent, grinding against his palm.

"Please... Jake..." I stuttered, begging for more friction.

His hand dove into my shorts and panties, lingering at my entrance, roughly rubbing my clit. I whimper at his forceful touch and

he entered a finger into my heated core, pumping in and out. He entered a second and third finger, while my back arched, moving in

synchronize to each of his pumps. Moans escaping my mouth.

"Bella..." He whispered into my lips as my walls tightened as he pumped faster into my core.

"Jacob! Right there! Yes!" and I came in his hands. I sighed in relief.

But he wasn't finished, he continued to attack my mouth, refusing to let me go.

"You don't know how long I've been waiting for this." he sighed. He undid his belt and he slid off his jeans in a smooth motion.

He positioned his erection at my wet folds and rammed in and out with nothing but pure roughness.

"Motherfucking god! Fuck Jake!" I screamed in pain that slowly turned into pleasure.

My nails dug into his shoulders and my legs clammed onto his waist for dear life as his thrusts met mine.

"BELLA FUCK YOU'RE SO TIGHT." He growled. And I could scream nothing but "Fuck."

We released together after the final thrust and he collapsed, putting all his weight on top of me.

"I love you so much Bells." Kissing my forehead and rolled over next to me.

I laid in my bed with my eyes staring at the ceiling.

Jacobs arm was holding tightly onto my waist while he drifted off to sleep with a smile on his face.

_What have you done Bella Swan. You just slept with your best friend. _I sighed.

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	6. COMPLICATIONS

**5****.****COMPLIACTIONS**

I was woken up by the buzzing of my phone. I groaned and reached for it.

"Hello Miss Swan This is calling regarding at property in Forks?" The man said nervously.

"Oh Hi J! It's been a while since we talked. How are you?" I tried to sound enthusiastic.

"I'm well, thank you Miss Swan."

"Bella." I corrected him.

"Well Bella, we seem to have found you a nice piece of property." He laughed softly.

"Fantastic. Tell me about it." I replied. I wasn't planning to stay at Charlies house for thanksgiving.

I needed a place of my own. Somewhere to mope around without him seeing how empty I was.

"Well its a nice little white mansion in the outskirts of Forks. Not really in town.

So I thought it was really suitable for someone like you. Since your wouldn't want to be wondering around and been seen in town."

I froze at his description. White mansion, On the outskirts of Forks.

There was only one place like that. Did the Cullen's finally sell the house, knowing that they're never coming back?

"Um. Sounds great. What price are they asking for?"

"One million, but it's fully furnished. The previous owner left a great deal of nice furniture behind." He hesitated.

"Cool. Well, send me some details and photos of the place, it sounds perfect." I tried to sound sincere. Was it really a good idea? After all, I'm not sure if I could cope, yet.

"Sure, no problem. I'll send it right over." Something stirred next to me, I stiffened. Suddenly remembering what had happened last night. Crap.

"Er. Great. Look J, I'll talk to you soon! Looking forward to those photos!" I said over excitedly.

"No problem. Goodbye Miss Bella."

"Yea, See ya J." I hung up shortly after mumbling a few short exchanges. Before I could react to what was happening,

I was flipped over and Jake was sitting on top of me, both of us still, naked.

"Good morning Bells." His face leaned down, hot breath whispering in my ears, sending a chill through my spine, letting a moan escape me.

"Nice to hear." He sucked on my earlobe. And I put my hands on top of his chest, hoping to create some distance between us.

"Er, Jake? Get off me?" I said coldly.

The usual Jake took over and he started bombarding me with questions, still leaning into my ear.

"So who is this Isaac guy?"

"What happened in the hallway?"

"And why wasn't I there to punch his face in?" He continued with a cocky grin and licked my earlobe. I froze, suddenly having a brain freeze moment.

"Um," I stuttered.

"Huh?" He was otherwise distracted, moving his mouth down to my left breast, licking my erected nipple.

A certain hardness pressed against my stomach, making me moan in frustration.

I could feel his smile on my breast as his erection was teasing me in the entrance.

The only sound i heard was my shallow panting.

"Nawww Bella, you're soaking already? I could smell you from here." He cheekily grinned.

"Jake please get off me. We need to talk. Now!" I shot him a glare.

"God Bella you turn me on so bad when you look mad." He laughed, still grazing at my entrance.

"Argh! Jacob Black! Get off of me this instance or I'll scream!" I regretted saying that because we were the only ones in the house,

and there is, in fact, no neighbours within miles.

He seemed to see through me because he bursted out laughing, which worsened the situation, sending vibrations far down south,

earning another moan from me. Just as I lifted my leg up to kick him in the shin, he grabbed it instead and flung it over his shoulder, thrusting an inch into me.

"Bella what were you about to do? That wasn't very nice. I could've lost little Jake here." He pouted, ramming another inch in roughly.

There was nothing I could do to stop him, he was too big and strong, and as much as I hate to admit it but it felt so good.

My voice went a pitch higher as I panted into his shoulder, holding him closer to me.

His pace started slowly down and he tore an inch of his erection out of me which made me frown in displeasure.

"Jake." I panted.

"What do you want Bella?" His shallow thrusts were frustrating me.

I clammed my mouth shut, not wanting to say it out loud. But my hips said other wise, it arched and met with his thrusts wanting them to deepen.

"Bella say it out loud." he said huskily, flicking my hardened nipple.

"FUCK I WANT YOU TO FUCKING THRUST INTO ME SO HARD, I WANT YOU TO MAKE ME SCREAM SO LOUD I CAN'T SAY A WORD FOR A WEEK." I squeezed my mouth shut immediately.

"That's more like it Bella." But only he removed his shaft from me.

"WHAT?" I screeched. He only surprised me by replacing it with his tongue, slowly licking my milked folds.

He licked my center, holding my knees wide apart that were clamming onto his head.

"Jaaaa-kee..." I whimpered. He removed his tongue and hovered back up to my stomach, licking every surface he reached.

Finally reaching back to my face and attacked my mouth, sharing my taste.

"HmmmMm..Bells you taste so fucking good." He licked my bottom lip, begging for entrance and out tongues melted together.

His cock reappeared in my heated core, thrusting harder and deeper than last night, sending me to my edge as I quickly released, bringing him down with me.

He stayed in me while his head rested in the middle of my chest. I napped well till late afternoon being woken up by the smell of food.

Jacob wasn't in bed. God...that.. sounded so awkward.

I put on a shirt and walked out of my room, my stomach calling out for some food.  
Remembering what happened last night when I ate the steak.

I furrowed my brows not really understanding why I had those visuals.

Jacob was sitting on the floor biting onto a slice of pizza, eyes fixed on the flat screen, playing Playstation 3.

I picked up a slice myself as he stole a glance at me, smirking.

I shot him a glare and his eyes returned to the screen. The pizza didn't look too appetizing.

"You look hungry. Rough night?" He had a dorky grin on his face.

"No. I didn't eat at all yesterday and I spewed my dinner last night remember?" I said bluntly as I put down the slice.

"Sure." He mused. He hit pause on the game and returned his attention to me.

"Rough morning?" He snorted, stroking my thigh. I pushed his hands away and walked towards the kitchen.

Pouring myself a glasses of orange juice, I nearly choked on it when a warm pair of hands slid under my tee-shirt, rubbing my sides.

His muscular chest pressed hard on my back.

"Jacob, I really don't think it's appropriate right now. You know?" I sighed.

"Why not?"

"Well you know damn well why."

"Nawww Bells You didn't have to make it so clear. I know I made you tired by giving you the best sex you're ever had." I could feel his grin on my shoulder.

"No Jacob, because I think I had sex with my best friend." I turned around pushing him back to the wall. I was way pissed off at what I'd allow him to do to me.

"You know damn well I didn't love you that way, and you knew damn well I still can't forget _him_. And you took advantage of me when I was weak!" I poked hard at his chest.

"Well you sure didn't say that last night and this morning." He glared back at me.

He got me there. I didn't stop him. _I_ _allowed_ him to invade me.

I just looked at him speechless. He knew exactly what I was thinking, he put on a sour laugh and walked to the living room.

"Come on Bells, you're got an interview with Harpers Bazaar in two hours. It takes an hour to drive there so go and change. I'll meet you down stairs in the garage."

The drive to the office was uncomfortablely quiet. Jacob was tapping on the steering wheel way too much when he waited for the lights to turn green.

Occasionally he would cuss at a cab driver that didn't signal their turn.

"Jacob Black watch your potty mouth." I broke the silent.

"Well you sure had the worse case of mouth diaerea last night." He retorted.

I felt my face heat up in that instant, not wanting to remember what had happened.

*********************************************************************************************************


	7. INTERROGATIONS

I kinda got my inspiration of the photoshoot from the May issue of British Harpers Bazaar with Alexa Chung on the cover.

That's how i imagined Bella posing and what she was wearing for the photoshoot.

So check out the pictures if you guys want a clearer image of what Bella looks like. =)

the pictures are on my profile!!!!!!!!!!!!

**  
PLEASE COMMENT AND REVIEW! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE  
**

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**

**5. ****INTERROGATIONS**

We arrived at the studio earlier than we were expected. A woman came out to greet us, eyes lingering on Jacob a little longer than my liking.

"Hello Miss Swan, I'm Georgia, secretary of Miss Bailey. It's a pleasure to finally meet you." She stuck our her hand for me to shake,

I took it and gave her a weak smile, not really wanting to talk. She lead us into a room with sofas and a coffee table, where I would be interviewed.

"Miss Bailey will be with you in a sec, please don't hesitate to call me if you need anything, here is my number.

I will be downstairs in the garden with the photographers." She said as she set down three glasses of water and handed me her card.

Her eyes wandered on Jacob one last time before walking out.

The number was clearly intended for Jacob. So I handed it to him.

"Thank you so much for your help." I tried to sounds polite.

I groaned once Georgia stepped out of the waiting room and Jacob let out his most annoying gagging sounds.

"Wow Bells, no need to go all cavewoman on me, I'm all yours. Absolutely not interested in Miss Georgia here." He grinned.

"You know Jake? You were never this annoying when I first met you. I'm starting to wonder why I ever even let you move to New York with me. Why don't you go back to Forks."

I groaned, setting my head in my hands. Jacob rubbed his warm hands on my back, instantly making me feel better.

"Because you love me and you need me Bella." He leaned in and whispered in my ears.

Yea, he did make me feel better- until he just had to open his mouth and ruin the moment.

He leaned away as Sarah Bailey, the Deputy editor of British Harpers Bazaar walked in the room.

She came all the way from London to interview me because she wanted me to be the cover girl but I was too busy on tour to go to London.

"I'll be outside if you need me Bella." Jacob stood up and walked out.

"Bella Swan! We finally meet!" She hugged me like we've known each other since kindergarten.

"Hi Miss Bailey. It's a pleasure to meet you!" Her chipper mood allocated my beaming smile.

This time it was a genuine smile from the bottom of my heart.

"It's Sarah for you my dear. Now sit down and talk to me." She sat down on the crisp white sofas.

"Ok, so it is understood that after the interview you were to have a photoshoot downstairs?" She took a sip of her water.

"Sure. May I ask what the theme was for this photoshoot?" I was curious.

"Just something simple, the garments we're prepared for you are pretty casual, a few feminine haute couture dresses too. But over all it's pretty natural, just like your image."

"Sounds good. I'm glad." Phew. No over-the-top make up or scary hazardous dresses.

"Ok, so shall we start?" she took out her a pen and an elegant notebook.

"Fire away." Sarah asked some casual questions like where I was born and raised, what my family was like, my usual wardrobe and what designers I admired.

The answers were pretty simple. Until she started asking questions that were more... complicated and personal.

"So, I understand that you write your own songs and lyrics and most of them were pretty emotional songs. May I ask where the inspiration came from?"

God this sounded more like a tabloid magazine question rather than for a fashion magazine. I sighed internally.

"Well, um. Most of them came from my past experiences." I stuttered. She nodded her head as she urged me to go on. I knew she wasn't going to let this go easily.

"They were about my first love. Probably about the only guy I've ever liked. And he left me. Broken. I never really got over it." I sighed.

Sarah gave me a sympathetic smile, but I knew she wasn't finished.

"He's doesn't know what he's missing, Bella. You're a wonderful girl." She gave me an encouraging smile.

"Do you think that what happened between the two of you partially resulted in who you are today?"

"Yea, sure. I mean, without him I wouldn't have went through all that, and written all these songs. I never was one for the spotlight,

and definitely didn't think I could make it in the music industry. I was a true klutz, I tripped over anything." I let out a sour laugh.

"The women out there would've loved to hear your just a girl-next-door behind the diva exterior. Moving on, In one of your most recent songs,

Thinking about you. It seems that you have found someone? Are you happy now?" She grinned.

"Oh! No, no. I haven't been with anyone else since him." I chuckled.

"It was one of those moments you try to draw inspiration out of your head. I tried to imagine some scenario's in my head." I continued as she nodded.

"Do you think you will ever find love again?" She suddenly blurted out.

"Well, not right now. I don't think I'm ready for all that yet." I laughed.

"It is true, we haven't seen any scandalous photographs of you in the tabloids." She winked.

The interview eventually ended after answering a few more questions, but it wasn't as bad.

"Come on Bella, let's take you down to get dressed and get your make up done." She took my head and lead me to the changing room.

"I have to leave now to catch a plane back to London. It was nice meeting you, I hope we become very good friends." She winked and gave me a last hug.

We said our farewells and she departed.

The photoshoot went surprisingly well, Sarah kept to her words and left me with hazardless clothing- except one.

A light purple sulk tulle dress by Giambattista Valli.

The top bodice consisted on ruffles of purple silk pedals and the lower bodice consisted on hundreds and thousands of layers of pale purple tulle.

Luckily the dress was only needed for a few shoots with me sitting and lying on the steps of stairs.

Other shoots went just as easily, as I was instructed to just walk along side paths or laying on grass grounds, you know, acting casual.

I was given simple leather, denim jackets and cardigans to pair with beautiful knee length designer dresses.

The look was well balanced and overall laid-back. It was only 5 hours before the photoshoot was finished and the photographers and their assistants wrapped things up.

I walked up the stairs to change back to my casual clothes. Jake was lying across the sofa, asleep.

I proceeded to the changing cubicle and when I was finished he was still fast asleep.

"Jake... wake up...! We're leaving now.." I whispered and lightly shook his shoulder.

He mumbled something I couldn't make out and flipped onto his stomach.

"Jake! Come on! I want to go home!" His eyes peered opened as I shouted.

"I don't feel so good." He grumbled and sat up.

I put my hand up to his cheek, the skin was blazing hot, Jacob was usually very warm, but this was way above normal human temperature.

"Jacob, you're running a high temperature. Let's get you to the doctor!." I hushed, pulling him up from the seat.

"No Bells.. Just take me home.. I probably just need to lay down for a bit..." He protested.

"Jacob Black!" I glared and he walked down the stairs.

"Isabella Swan?" He grinned weakly.

"Jacob Black You listen to me and you listen to me good-"

" Bella just take me home, I promise you I'll go to the doctor if I get worse."

"But-"

"Shut up and drive." He chuckled.

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	8. NIGHTMARES

PLEEEEEEASE REVIEW! PRETTY PLEASE WITH cherry on the top =)

**7****. ****NIGHTMARE**

I sped home, with Jake by my side in the passenger seat, fighting to keep his eyes open.

"Jacob, just go to sleep. I'll wake you up when we get home."

"Bella, I'm your bodyguard I need to keep you save, now stop driving so fast." He groaned.

I laughed at my driving, I probably picked up the habit from _them_.

We got home in no time, Jake took some Panadol while I went to my room to get changed.

We said our goodnights and left for bed. The photoshoot had drained most of my energy away, I drifted to sleep in no time, welcoming my nightmares.

But this one was _different _from my normal nightmares. It was almost more..._pleasant_?

Anything to hear the velvety voice again.

_A familiar sight appeared in front of me._

_A flight of stairs that were designed for my next concert._

The stairs that Alexis insisted in installing to the stage.

"It's necessary, for the message behind you songs, darling." he said. __

The stairs were steep and narrow, seeming like they would go on forever.  
_  
Being the old clumsy me, I knew I had to hold on extra tight. _ __

The rails were slick and made it hard to hold on to.

_What would happen If I tumbled down these steps?_

_Would it finally end my misery once and for all? _ __

Or would I just fall ten feet down and become eternally paralyzed for the rest of my life...? __

I walked down a couple of steps, accidently skipping a few, nearly tripping over.

_A crowed appeared around me, cheering on for what must be my death trap. _ __

Was this a farewell concert of mine? __

"Don't be foolish! Hold on to the rail tight Bella." My eyes widened as I heard the velvety voice.

_I looked behind me. Nothing. I chuckled at my hallucination._

_"Bella, Don't do it! Don't you dare!" The velvety voice urgently called after me._

_He appeared at the top of the staircase, holding a beautiful blonde tightly to his chest._ __

Unfortunately, I slipped.

Now hanging by a thread.

In the middle of the air.

Dangling like a leaf.

"No Bella! I love you! You can't leave me!" the lion roared. __

And.

I fell.

_"Never Again!" I shouted back at the sweet voice._

I smiled my last smile.

I woke up screaming, soaked in sweat.

Jake was standing at the doorway looking at me.

"You okay?" He said in a raspy voice, obviously still thick with sleep.

"Yeah. Just another nightmare." I hastily brushed him off.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" He sat down at the end of my bed.

"Not really." I slumped back in between my bed sheets.

He sighed and climbed into the bed space next to me.

"Er. What are you doing Jacob Black."

"I'm sleeping."

"Then What are you doing in _my_ bed Jake."

"_Sleeping_." He groaned.

"JACOB GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY BED!" I shouted, increasingly agitated.

"No, I want to be beside you. Incase you start having nightmares again." He pulled me to his chest. The contact instantly calmed me down, but I broke down crying instead.

"Ja..Ja..Jake...why doesn't he wa..wa..want me?" I sniffed.

"Because he's a stupid asshole." He hushed, cradling me in his strong arms.

"I feel so em...empty." I said between hiccups.

"Bells, you know I will give anything to make to happy again. Just say a word and I'll be there. You just have to give me a chance." His eyes saddened.

"Buh-but..Ja..Jake.. I can't forget hi..him... It's no...not fair o..on you..."

"I know Bella... I'm not asking you to decide now... Just think about it." He gave me a sad smile.

I snuggled closer to his chest, it's was still boiling hot, in fact it was hotter than a few hours ago.

"Jake you're really hot..."

"Yeah I know Bella, That's why you've gotta give me a chance." He grinned.

"No, I mean your body temperature you mutt." I put a hand to his forehead and cringed.

"Oh that." He moved away from me.

"How are you feeling."

"Tired...It's like my whole body is exhausted. My muscles are so sore." He got off from the bed.

"I better get away from you for now, no point in getting you sick too. Goodnight Bella." He started walking out but I grabbed on to his wrist.

"Jake, we've got to go to the emergency room! You're running a high temperature! It's dangerous!" I practically yelled.

"I told you I just need some rest. I've always been warmer than normal people." He retorted.

"But-"

"Just let me sleep ok Bella." He creased his thick eyebrows.

"Fine! Sleep here then." I fold my arms across my chest.

"What? Really?" He raised his brows dramatically.

"So I can check on you." I rolled my eyes.

"Meh... Whatever." He smiled, climbing into my bed.

I smiled. My Jacob... He was so easily pleased.

"You know, you never told me what your nightmare was about." He interrupted my thoughts.

He propped his head onto his palm, reading to listen. I sighed.

"I fell off the stairs." And he broke out laughing.

"How is that a nightmare? It happens almost everyday." He mused.

"No...It's not just any stairs." He nodded, egging me to go on.

"It looked exactly like the ones...designed for my next concert.."

"Those really sleek ones Alexis insisted on?"

"Yeah... _those_"

"Bella I'm sure it's just your stress. It won't happen, I won't let it happen." He frowned.

"Yeah I guess it's just a dream." I tried to convince myself.

"Was that all?"

"No...I... It was like I _wanted_ to fall...and die...It felt so strange- "

"And I heard his voice... telling me not to do it." I said with a strained voice.

"Bella! Promise me you will never do anything to hurt yourself!" He grabbed my shoulders.

"I...promise..." I buried my face into his heated chest.

"Goodnight Jake. Love you." I said drowsily.

" 'Night Bells. I love you more than you love me." He hugged me closer.

I didn't dream of another dream again that night.

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The morning sun shone violently in my eyes, forcing me to wake up.

"Good morning beautiful." Jacob smiled. I couldn't help but smile back. He made me so.. comfortable, so... peaceful.

"Good morning Jake." I stretched my arms.

I touched his forehead, wanting to see if he was any better. I was relieved that the temperature had cooled down.

"How are you feeling?" Stroking his cheek as he leaned against my palm.

"Much better, I'm not as sore and I'm not boiling anymore. I told you all I needed was rest." He rolled his eyes.

"Whatever makes you sleep better at night." I rolled my eyes back at him.

"Oh I did sleep well last night." He said huskily.

"Uh-huh."

"I like it when you moan my name in your sleep." He grinned.

"Oh my god. I did not." I gasped, covering my mouth.

"You did." The grin got impossibly wide.

"Shut up. I did not." I covered my ears. He pulled my hands away from my ears placed them on his lap, his dark eyes bored into mine.

"Bella Swan." He said with unusual serious.

"Yes?" I stuttered.

"Do you still like me more than anyone?" He said stubbornly, almost childlike.

"Uh... yeah?" Damn it I knew exactly where this is going to lead to...

"More than you prefer that _Isaac Newton _guy?" He frowned at the name.

"Hm...Yeah of course...I've known you since forever..."

"Then will you tell me what happened between you two?" He pouted. I sighed.

"We were staying on the same level at the hotel. And I walked pass him... And I tripped..."

"And?"

"And I landed on top of him. In the most awkward position." My cheek redden at the memory. Jake growled in distaste.

"I can't believe he sent you that disgusting note." He played with my fingers. I laughed as his response.

"Bella?" He was suddenly serious again.

"Hm?"

"Will you be my girl?" He pleaded.

"Jake! I- "

"I know, I know! We've been through this a thousand times, You're not ready and you think its not fair on me.

But I don't mind! I just want you to try and let me make you happy, even if you don't love me the way I love you."

Just in that moment, I suddenly wanted to give him and myself a chance. I stroked his cheeks, looking at his boyish feature.

What would I do without him? Of course I had to try.

"Yes Jacob, I am willing to try." I smile at the over grown boy, continuing to stroke his face as his smile threatened to take over his entire face.

"She finally accepted me! I can't believe it" He said excitedly as if he had won a trophy.

He pulled us both up and took me into his arms, he flung me over his shoulders and spinning me around.

He laughed like a madman planting small kisses all over my face.

"There is one condition though." I pointed up my index finger. He set me down, eager to listen.

"It ends when I say it does, If I can't take it anymore. But I wish we will still be good friends." I stated.

"I love you!" He said excitedly.

"You won't regret it Bella! I will make you the happiest girl alive!" he cupped my cheeks between his large hands.

They were so warm. And comfortable. And they fitted perfectly with mine.

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End file.
